Notifications

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Notifications
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That’s my default. Me, getting any notification: 🫨oh no now what

Its an SMS sent by the government

Happened literally last week. Interrupted my music session twice.

WTF

It also wouldn’t stop vibrating till I clicked ’OK’. 😐


Its called EXTREMELY SEVERE ALERT

“Extremely severe alert (or whatever)” (are caps expected there in Indian English? Title Case)




*"indigenous technology"*?

Might be weird translation? Probably mean Indian made tech?




texas sent one of those out. an emergency alert to the entire damn state that someone was hiding out at the libary after shooting at (not hitting) a cop. practically the entire damn state was ready to turn up to help them run away because the text woke them up at 4 am



🔫👀🔫



I ended up turning off notifications entirely because it always ended up being some bullshit and I was tired of getting my hopes up every time my phone vibrated only for it to be mass text soliciting donations



Mission accomplished


I almost never get texts from friends, which is okay. Because I know we’re tight and when we get together it’s all cool.

But last night at 1:38 a.m. I get a text from my bud saying hey want to go to the gym with me tomorrow?. Which I didn’t see until I awoke.

Dude probably sent that on beer 28.


It’s the best feeling


phone rings

Normal person: “Who?”

Me: “Why?”



It’s called peace



I actually now hate getting any form of communication that social convention requires I reply too.


Another day living the dream… aaahhhh.

I think I’ll make some tea.


You know, there’s also a thing called “do not disturb” (it’s always on with me and only wifey can get through).

Or the hardcore “airplane mode”.

Yep, mine is scheduled hrs b4 bed

At the very least b4 bed…though I love the peace the whole year through 😁

mine turns on 2 hours before bedtime and turns off, uh,

sic ‘em Oily! go goob ‘em up!





I wish. Any morning where there isn’t a major catastrophe or some “fire” to put out is an excellent morning.

Zero notifications?! Don’t threaten me with a good time.



Just how I like it. Low key, drink my coffee, work, do my errands, play video games, go to bed.

My favorite.


What’s your number? I’ll text you. I’m lonely though so you might regret your wish. My texts have been known to get a little verbose.

I have a free texting app which I use for dating, because I don’t want crazy women to have my real number up front.

(431) 803-0202

Feel free to shoot a message

I’m about to send “Sup Krudler,” so if you’re lying, some stranger is about to get a very confusing insult.


May I ask how did you get that number? I would like to have a number like that too.

I typed in “free text” into my app store and then installed. When I created an account with a fake email, I got to choose from a rotating batch of free local numbers. They expire if you don’t use it frequently. Also they bombard you with ads.





That’s my brother!!!

You should text him.




Well, guess who I’m spamming


Hollowed eye sockets beneath the sunglasses. With eyes removed, no more notifications.


The only person left in my life who texts me is my adult son, who lives with me. So, if he texts me, it’s something important-ish.

If I’m contacted these days by my sisters or brother, it’s because someone died, or is in grave condition in the hospital.

I live a quiet, low-stress life, and I love it. It took a long time to get here.


waking up to zero missed calls because i answer the phone and talk to telemarketers in my sleep. fortunately i don’t have any credit numbers memorized well enough (and never will praise Rustle) to remember them in my sleep.


The proper phrase is " Take a flying fuck at a rolling donut.”

Just saying.


Since I retired, that’s me. My phone is so quiet.


Have you seen the TV show Misfits?


Got my Facebook temporarily disabled. No one contacted me for my bday. It was sad.

When’s your bday? I’ll try to remember



I get notifications from exactly five kinds:

  • Work
  • My mom
  • My bank trying to rope me into a credit or an insurance
  • A group for autistic adults even I am too anxious to post in, because they all somehow have friends and I don't
  • News

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