shitpost

Follow for more advice

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THAT PERSON'S BOTHERING YOU? EAT THEM. TRIPPED ON THE SIDEWALK? EAT IT. TABLE IS UNEVEN? EAT THE TABLE EAT YOUR OPPOSITION.
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At least once I find the time

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If only you were ready for how joyous I plan to be
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A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away, nine rings were gifted to the galaxy of man...

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"It abandoned Gollum, but then something happened that the Ring did not intend. It was picked up by the most unlikely creature imaginable" Image of Star Wars Storm Trooper holding a metal ring.
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Need that someone

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"By the time you realize my worth, I'll be boiling pizza for someone else 😣" Picture of a piece of pizza boiling in a pott of water
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Right Into the Dystopian Shit

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Gym sign ad reads: "Get strong AF before society collapses"
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"weather" by Kybernetika

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simple drawing of kasane teto her brain is melting

Sauce: https://netrun.to/notes/anq9xuhbzt

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Born were the days

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Picture of Ryan Gosling with the caption: "I have two birthdays... The day I was born, and the born day I was day. The born."
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🤣😂🤣🇻🇪🤠

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Picture that is so low res You can't recognize anything
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ich🫪iel

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Bildquellen:

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Anyone objecting

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Black water dispenser and a white water dispenser under plastic, they look like a couple that is getting married. The caption reads: "I'm crying im so happy for them"
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Need .. carrot

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"Hold on im thinking". Picture of a persons head that has been opened, allowing you to see that they have a bunny instead of a brain
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Ev: we had chocolate as a treat

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Ev: we had chocolate as a treat. For morale#shitpost, #treat, #reward, #jeanycollects, #youtube@reilyhs_microblog_mirror@piefed.blahaj.zone

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Did you know ​ ​ -> ​ ​ ​ ​ #shitpost @reilyhs_microblog_mirror@piefed

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Did you know ​​ -> ​​ ​​ #shitpost@reilyhs_microblog_mirror@piefed.blahaj.zonePS: This renders better on sharkey

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... new political compass just dropped?

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(Neocat created by Volpeon

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an emoji of a woman standing with the cat of a face going ":3"

(Neocat created by Volpeon. Woman emoji from noto-emojis)#art, #vectorArt, #edit, #imageEdit, #neocat, #neocats, #shitpost@reilyhs_microblog_mirror@piefed.blahaj.zone

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(This image is merely a silly parody

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an image of a neocat holding a laaarge cigarette

(This image is merely a silly parody. Smoking is dangerous, please quit if you could 🌹)#art, #vectorArt, #edit, #imageEdit, #neocat, #neocats, #smoking, #shitpost@reilyhs_microblog_mirror@piefed.blahaj.zone

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He be having ears

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Picture of a rabbit with a big ear. Comments below the picture: "bro can hear sounds" "That rabbit is not human bro"
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bro rule

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Lemmy comment: It's only right that the Glorious People's Government distributes brojobs to everyone in a non gay way, to reflect Russian values of totally straight dudes sodomizing each other for solidarity while staring lovingly into each other's eyes
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Why do you think I'm here

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Screenshot of a calculator showing "idk use a calculator" as the answer to 9x9 captioned "wdym use a calculator"
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In this economy?

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"The best buy employee selling me another RTX 3080, knowing damn well I'm gonna eat it infront of him again". Picture of the lemur Mort from Madagascar
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Guess there is always a downside

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Review: Nice restaurant. Very attentive staff only deducted a star as there was a man murdered beside me towards the end of my meal
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He cooked

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Picture of a person in pants covered with lighting and shoes that look like rats captioned: the line between "he cooked" and "he's cooked" is razorthin
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I like to think that he forgets, keeps trying and then makes a new post about it

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Neil Degraas Tyson

(in case not obvious, an homage to this post)

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Asking for more pixels is homophobic (and gay)

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Hot take: The people complaining about the FNAF movie are clearly homophobic. The 10 hour Markiplier and Matpat make out scene was PLOT RELEVANT. Wake up.
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We need to stop this

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"yet another unrealistic standard for women". Picture of a hairdryer carton where a mouse is looking through a hole in the face of the woman on the side
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These ancient Palestinian commies corrupted Western civilization 😭

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Beautiful

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Microblog post: "NASA has released a photo of the lunar eclipse." Picture of the moon with the shadow of a group of robots riding a giant turtle
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Fun game

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"Connect ∞" Picture of a connect four game that extends infinity
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deltarule

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Undertale/Deltarune creator Toby Fox donates $2,000,000 dollars to the LGBTQIA+ community. "I hope they'll make it more contagious", Toby Fox states.
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Waow

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Wikipedia article of the television station WAOW. In the article the name "WAOW" and the word "based" are circled in red. Red arrows point to them from a picture of the person from the meme in which they say "Waow" and think "Based based based"
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Did you do this at your highschool?

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In high school we had a bit we called "The Orb" where at night we put a bunch of glow sticks in a fish bowl in the middle of the road and if a car slowed down to look at it our friend would come out from behind a tree in his gorilla suit
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Stupid ass bigfootcels

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Microblog reply: "beef in the cryptid community between bigfootcels and giant squid maxxers". Post: Poorly drawn graph showing that the amount of giant squid footage increased linearly with the number of cameras while the amount of bigfoot footage staid constant.
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It was revealed to me by the microplastics in my brain

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Oh, you're locked in? That's cool. I am locked out of my dominoes.com account for 72 hours for trying to make God's Sacred Holy Pizza that was revealed to me in a dream (no crust, all sauce, antelope eyeballs, encased in a glass pyramid)
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Milk of course

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"Do you guys put the milk in first, or the serial?". Picture of a bowl of milk with a serial port connector inside
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You're not a real fan otherwise

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"Don't say you love the anime" Picture of the Peppa Pig logo. "If you haven't read the manga" Picture of the book Animal Farm by George Orwell
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Hold your horses

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Four panel comic. In the first panel a horse walks into a bar. In the second panel the horse says "Hey.". The bartender says "Hey is for horses!". In the third panel the horse looks at the viewer and says "I know.". In the fourth panel the horse is eating hay in the bar
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I knew it!

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Microblog post by a National Park Service: "You know it's cold outside when you go outside and it's cold.". Reply: "Who is running this account 😂". Reply by National Park Service is a picture of Capybara looking animal in front of a computer with a headset
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Why aren't we doing this

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"Cars are fucking dumb. Replace cars with bats". Diagramm showing how much space people take in cars vs a bus vs on foot, with a additional column that's 150,000 bats
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Emotional

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Picture of batman saying "This is where I watched my parents die, freiren" and Frieren responding with ":3" rotated by 90°
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Dang it, now I need new hardware

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News: GTA VI WILL NOT BE RELEASED ON THE WATER RING TOSS HANDHELD
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No way

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Picture of a spongebob shaped piece of soap captioned: "Bro I am not cleaning my ass with this 💀"
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This clears things up

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Dear my non-American friends: I know Thanksgiving's a little confusing, so I'll try to break it down for you. Today is the day we celebrate the freeing of the United States from the reign of terror of Lord Gobble, a 50-foot tall turkey/Sasquatch hybrid who demanded human sacrifices every November. In 1863, Abraham Lincoln rode his eagle-gryphon into battle, singlehandedly slaying Lord Gobble and freeing us from our blood oath to our fearsome tyrant. In celebration of this momentous victory, we consume the corpses of his descendants and parade our largest and most influential cartoon characters through the streets of New York as a display of power, so that history will not repeat itself. Hope that clears things up.
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TIL

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"I been spelling Erica wrong my entire life". Fox News interview with a person named "Airwrecka Mcbride"
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rule

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Screenshot of a messenger conversation: "Would you be interested in drawing my dog penny. I'm willing to give you 10 buckaros" - "Hey sure let me see it" - Picture of a brown dog. "the drawing". Weird looking drawing of the dog with especially large toes
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It's finally happening

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MOON TARP. YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW READY YOU ARE. - WE WILL PUT A GIANT TARP IN FRONT OF THE MOON. - 7,070,399 SQUARE MILES OF PERMANENT TARP. - 99.9954% LIGHT ABSORPTION: BLACKER THAN TAR OIL. - 100% CONCEALS EVERY VISIBLE ANGLE FROM EARTH. I PROMISE YOU WILL NEVER SEE THE DAMN THING AGAIN —> IT IS ALREADY PAID FOR <— IT IS UNDER CONSTRUCTION. THIRTY THOUSAND MEN HAVE DIED
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Checkmate Schrödinger

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Schrödinger: "You don't know if the cat is alive or dead until you look inside the box". Cat: "meow". Schrödinger: "Shut up"
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The horror

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"Warnings: Graphic sex, swearing, French". "Oh god, not French"
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Eggcorn

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corn in the form of an egg. Text: TIL Eggcorn, wet your appetite

TIL Eggcorn

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Anon plays Professor Layton

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Post includes a picture of Professor Layton from the game series with the same name saying: "Select the image which is unlike the other two." Below are three images. One is a red quadrilateral that isn't filled in. The next is a red triangle that is filled in. The last one is a green square that is filled in. The post body reads:"You should be able to solve this"
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horse plinko

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F U N

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F ire that burns down the whole town. U ranium bombs. N o survivors
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Sweet Georgia

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Sweet Georgia
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The pipeline is real

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Typical

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Time to bash Americans again

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Post:"Can someone please tell me why schools in Europe have no security?" Reply:"We have like a whole ocean between us and America... how much more security do you want?"
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Step 1: Delete

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Reddit post in r/blender titled "How do I improve this?" with a picture of a 3d model of a cat next to a bag of cat food. The cat looks nothing like a cat, it has no head, the face is just directly on it's body. It's legs and tail are incredibly stiff and the texture looks like wood not fur.
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Don't gas people

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Well shit

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Tumblr post:"According to color theory, brown has more positive connotations than negative. Brown is associated with nature, stability, and warmth. Also a rich neutral tone goes well with most" Picture of a toilet with a white and brown carpet that looks like someone shit all over it
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All I Want for Christmas Is You

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"THIS IS YOUR WARNING. THE MARIAH CAREY DEFROSTING PROCESS HAS BEGUN" Picture of Mariah Carey in a melting ice cube
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Why does this keep happening

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What a day to have eyes

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Screenshot of a direct message conversation. Person A: Picture of a weird looking cosplay of Bert from Sesame Street "consider this a fucking warning" "Sorry wrong person". Person B: "..." "Who's the right person?!" "Who the hell is the right person?!"
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Belt²

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Directors cut

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Before it was butchered for the home release, the original ultra-widescreen version of The Matrix featured all sorts of important visual information such as Morpheus's third and fourth hands, which offered Neo a clove cigarette and a Rolo
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[OC] Hank Hill Catches Up on Pokémon

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A fan-made picture of hank hill sitting in his armchair in his house, holding up a photo of Rayquaza, a serpent-like Pokémon that is jade-colored. He is looking angry and saying, "Peggy, I'm telling you, these 'New Pokémon' are asinine! A 10 year old is supposed to catch them all, but this one, 'Rayquaza' is an actual god!"
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Very mindful I am

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"Betime mindfulness routine" Picture of a person staring into a extremly bright phone
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